Random Weirdness
by Banshee0
Summary: Not so 'One shot' anymore Just look at the title... Beware of a hungry Duo... And of Heero too; just to be safe...
1. Random Weirdness: The original idea

I will not comment this further, since everyone really should know by now, why this stuff is called 'fanfiction'.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Banshee  
  
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Random Weirdness  
  
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Duo got out of his Gundam and went straight from the hangar to the safe house. He literally kicked the front door open and made his way to the kitchen, without even glancing at the other pilots when he passed the living room, where they were sitting.  
  
They could hear sounds from the kitchen that told them, Duo was searching for something.  
  
"When was the last time, I've slept? On my way here, of course, in Deathscythe, mind you, not very relaxing, believe me..." Duo was mumbling more to himself than to anyone else, but the other pilots could still hear it.  
  
"When was the last time, I ate something? Well, thanks to that damned fucking piece of shit that calls itself a mission, THREE friggin' days ago! I swear, I'll have to put a fridge into my cockpit or something."  
  
In the meantime, Quatre had gotten up, to see what Duo was doing in the kitchen, since the slaming of undefined objects had gotten louder by any second passing, just as Duo's rambling. He got to the kitchen just as Duo went for the microwave, frozen pizza in his hand. Unfortunately, Quatre got in his way.  
  
Duo narrowed his eyes. He looken at the pizza in his hand, then over to the microwave and finally to Quatre, who stood right between the aforementioned objects.  
  
Even all the way from the living room, the three pilots remaining there could see the dangerous sparkle form in Duo's eyes and before -anyone- could react, Duo had his gun pointed at -Quatre's- forehead.  
  
Three gasps turned into one, while Quatre just stood there, uncertain of what to do next.  
  
Finally he got out a choked "Uhm... Duo?"  
  
The addressed glared at him with a force that was worthy Heero Yuy himself and growled: "Out of my way..."  
  
As soon as Quatre had moved to the side, he klicked the safety of his gun back into place and walked past the stunned boy, going straight for the microwave.  
  
"-Nobody- gets between a -hungry- Shinigami and his food!" Duo informed him.  
  
After placing the pizza into the microwave and making sure, the poor machine would do its work properly by glaring threatening at it, Duo went for the fridge. Quatre decided, it would be safe, to talk to the other boy, as long as he didn't get in the way of his... hunt for food and cleared his throat to get Duo's attention.  
  
Violett eyes met his own, still rather glaring than just looking.  
  
"Um... You know, Duo, there isn't really anything in the fridge, since we haven't gotten around to go shopping yet..."  
  
Duo's glare softened, as he shot Quatre a short smile.  
  
"Don't wory about that! I've already found something, to pass my time on, while this pizza is defrosting in there," he said with a wave in the general direction of the microwave. His head was already buried in the fridge again, as he dove in there to retrieve whatever he decided was eatible.  
  
As he came out again, he was holding a jar which contained half a kilo of strawberry-yoghurt. After shooting the microwave another glare and accusing it of 'working too fucking slow' he went back into the living room after grabbing a spoon and settled down on the couch in front of the TV.  
  
Quatre followed him and sat back down beside Trowa, where he had been seated before Duo started his newest episode.  
  
Duo opened the jar and everyone in the room just -knew- that something couldn't be alright with the substance in it.  
  
Cautiously Duo sticked the spoon in what was supposed to be a creamy substace. He looked up with sceptisism written all over his face, as the spoon did not sink in further, after he let go of it but stood -upright- out of the jar.  
  
"What do you guys think: Is it normal for this stuff to be... crispy?"  
  
The looked at him, all with the expressions you would expect from them:  
  
-.-  
  
-.-;  
  
O.O  
  
///.o  
  
(Heero, Wufei, Quatre, Trowa)  
  
Trowa was the first one to mouth his thoughts: "At least you can be sure, that it's dead..."  
  
"I wouldn't be -too- sure about that; I'd rather say, it's already raising from the dead again!" This one came from Wufei, which left Heero, since all Quatre would do was staring at the content of the jar.  
  
"Do you want me to shoot it, to make sure?"  
  
"Nah, Heero, be nice! It didn't do anythink threatening yet..." Duo poked at it a few times and then started to grin all over his face. "You know, I'm kinda hungry and since this micro-thingy back there decided to work extra-slowly today, I think I'm just gonna eat this now. You know, after Wufei's cooking, I will survive everything!" He spoke and started digging in. "But it sure tastes kinda funny."  
  
The others just stared at him disbelieving.  
  
"Famous last words of a Gundam-pilot," Heero mumbled before wandering into the kitchen to make sure, that there wasn't other potentionally undead stuff in the fridge.  
  
Two shots could be heard and soon after, Heero re-enterd the living room. As he was met by four questioning gazes he explained in a monotone voice: "The cheese wanted to pounce me, which made the orange-marmalade jealous, causing it to try and strangle me so I had to kill them both..."  
  
-.-;  
  
O.O  
  
///.o  
  
^_^  
  
(Wufei, Quatre, Trowa, Duo)  
  
After Duo's pizza was finally done and the Deathscythe-pilot was properly fed, they all settled for going to sleep.  
  
~ Wufei's room:  
  
"One day I'll just have to kill them all, for the sake of my sanity..."  
  
~ Quatre's & Trowa's room:  
  
"I don't know, what's scarier: A hungry Duo, or a Heero trying to be funny..."  
  
"..."  
  
~ Duo's & Heero's room:  
  
"I think, you really scared Quatre..."  
  
"You're one to talk..."  
  
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End  
  
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^_^  
  
How I came up with this? Well, I was somewhat starving since I have had nothing to eat all day and everything in this whole stupid appartment seemed to be pizza and some really weird looking yoghurt I didn't dare eating. But I got bored waiting for my pizza to warm up so I put my leftover time and my obsession with GW to some hopefully good use. ^_^  
  
Oh yeah! And don't flame me, if there are some grammar or spelling errors, since english isn't really my native language. ^_~  
  
And replies would be appreciated a -lot-!!! 


	2. Random Weirdness: And it continues

Thanks to:  
  
Wufei, Blu, Forgot (?), HeeroDuo4eva, Relwarc, Tokyo-Rose, Sakura  
  
You guys absolutely made my day! I just got home from my writing my final english exam and went looking for reviews... and than I went all O.O and than ^_____^ and my mother asked me to keep it down because it was mouthing my joy rather loudly!!! I'm used to getting my reviews one by one, slowly and nice... it gave me some kinda shock to receive this many all at once but it certainly got me -very- happy! ^_^  
  
Happy enough to immediately start writing a second chapter to what was supposed to be a one shot. I personally think that second chapters to this kind of stuff are never as good as the orignial ones inspired by spontanity, but I hope you'll like it anyway.  
  
However, this second chapter is dedicated to the people mentioned in the 'thanks to' category, because they a responsible for me being grinning like an idiot for the rest of the day! ^_^  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Banshee  
  
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Random Weirdness  
  
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And once again, Duo stated the obvious: "I'm hungry!"  
  
The other pilots rolled their eyes since there wasn't really any moment in Duo's life he did -not- claim to be starving. Save for the few times Heero knocked him out because he got annoyed, but that stopped once Duo threatened to start singing the next time.  
  
After their last adventure - now officially known as 'the fridge incident' - with the unquestionable... intresting contents of a certain machine, they had decided that they did -not- want to know what else the fridge could bring forth and simply convented to eating out.  
  
At first, Duo hadn't approved of the idea, since he didn't get the point of doing so. After all, -he- didn't have a problem with the fridge or what it did to the food at all. He even survived eating the whole jar of 'crisp- yoghurt' the last time without so much as complainig that there wasn't more of it what caused everyone to doubt, if it was really -Heero- being the suicidal one among them.  
  
"So where do you guys want to eat today?" Duo questioned them while nearly bouncing on the couch out of happiness. It wasn't everyday, that you could eat as much as you wanted without paying for it - he had... convinced Quatre to come up for the incredible amounts of food the eating-machine known as Duo Maxwell could swallow.  
  
"Somewhere cheap..." Quatre mumbled to himself.  
  
"Huh? Aw, come on, guys! Suggest something, or I'm going to choose!" Duo informed the cheerfully, which got him a Yuy-Deathglare, a growled 'Kisama', a stare and an frightened look. (I'll leave it to you, to figure out what came from who... ^_^)  
  
The last time Duo got to choose, they ended up in some restaurant where they would serve you -any- combination of food, you could imagine. Unfortunately, Duo had a -very- vivid imagination, which resulted in him being the only one eating, since the other pilots had enough to do, trying to fight of their sudden sickness...  
  
"Don't give me these looks!" Duo complained. "I asked you, where you wanted to go that time too and just like now, nobody answered so I had to find something myself..." He went silent for some time, while the others were still staring/glaring at him.  
  
Those looks soon turned into something more cautious, since they saw a well known sparkle appear in Duo's eyes.  
  
"I know!!!" He exclaimed happily. "There is this new bar, where you can get real good stuff to eat, too!"  
  
"Since I don't believe, your definition of 'good' is the same, as of the rest of us, I'd like to have some more specific information about that place," Wufei stated.  
  
Silence.  
  
"How are you doing this?!?" Duo's voice had an admiring sound in it.  
  
Wufei gave him a confused look.  
  
"No normal person even considers talking like that, you know..."  
  
Glare.  
  
Grin.  
  
"But he's right, Duo," Quatre got between them, before Wufei could start to hurt someone - like Duo... "I'd like to know more, too, before deciding."  
  
If that was even possible Duo's grin widened.  
  
'I wonder if it's technically possible that a human could swallow his own ears by grinning wide enough... But I don't think, it really matters if it's possible or not - one day -he- will just succeed anyway...' Heero thought, watching Duo grinning.  
  
"Well... this bar... you know... it's some kinda strip-bar, where they serve you all kinda of food. And the good thing about it is that you don't get plates but they serve the stuff on the bodies of some rather hot guys in various states of nakedness..."  
  
O.o  
  
°;° (- that's a nosebleed, by the way... ^_^)  
  
///.O  
  
x.x  
  
^_____^  
  
(Heero, Wufei, Trowa, Quatre, Duo)  
  
Heero was the first one to find his voice again. "We're going to McDonalds..."  
  
With this he started to drag a screaming anf kicking Duo out of the house.  
  
They all had reached the car, Heero still draging Duo along, Trowa carrying the fainted Quatre and Wufei nursing his nosebleed with a rather big box of tissues.  
  
"NOOOOO!!! HEEEEEEEEEEROOOOO!!! Shit, now I'm sounding like Relena... NOOOOO!!! DON'T DO THIS TO ME!!! PLEEEEEAAAAASE!!! MC DONALDS IS EEEEEEVIL!!!"  
  
Everyone, save Duo, sweatdroped big time...  
  
"Then Pizza Hut it is." Heero shrugged, not really caring, where they went, as long as it wasn't some of the weird places only Duo would know of.  
  
"Yay!" Duo snaked his way out of Heero's grip, before stoic boy had the chance to do much more than blink one time, he lacked some very important item.  
  
The car keys!  
  
"I'm driving!!!" Duo anounced cheerfully and already seated in the car.  
  
There was no point arguing, was there? They all had survived countless battles - God had to be a very cruel person, if they died in a car accident now - even with Duo's way of driving, that could only be described as insane.  
  
Several near-death experiences later, three visibly shaken Gundam-pilots got out of the car, followed by a rather confused Quatre, who had - to his own luck - regained his consciousness just as Duo parked the car and a madly grinning Duo.  
  
"Now, that was fun, ne guys?"  
  
They hadn't recovered yet, so the glares, he received were rather weak.  
  
But there was something, Trowa just -had- to say: "Duo, the next time, please just do -not- try to hit -all- of the trees when you decide to take the 'shortcut' through the park, will you?"  
  
"Sure thing, Tro-man!" Duo grinned cheerful as ever.  
  
"There won't be a next time! I will stragle you the moment you get even near any car again, Maxwell!" Wufei threatened.  
  
"Why wait this long?" Heero asked, pulling out his gun from spandex-space.  
  
Duo made a run for the entrace of the building, hoping those two wouldn't try something in public...  
  
As the five pilots settled for waiting until it was their turn, to order something, Duo remembered that he was indeed -very- hungry and got that certain look in his eyes, that told his fellow pilots, to wait until -he- had gotten his food, before they even started ordering.  
  
Once they received their pizzas, Duo dug in with enthusiasm, but he wasn't even halfway through his meal, as he suddenly heard a metallic snap at his side.  
  
Heero was on his other side, so it couldn't be him and his gun, as usually.  
  
By now, everyone at their table had stopped eating, looking from Duo to whatever had made this klicking sound, with various stated of surprised looks on their faces.  
  
Duo glanced sidewards and got eye to eye with some kind of really nice looking knife. His gaze traveld further up and the was met by the anrgy glares of four guys somewhere around his age, maybe a bit older.  
  
He gave them his nicest look.  
  
The other pilots slowly backed away. They knew from experience that nothing good could come from Duo looking -this- innocent...  
  
"May I help you?" Duo asked politely.  
  
"You crashed our car, we tracked you down and now you are going to pay!" he was informed.  
  
"Okay, want to go outside?" Duo stood and the four guys stepped back. Something about the boy in front of them freaked them out - maybe the enthusiasm he brought with the idea of facing four people with knifes, that certainly were taller than him and looked stronger too.  
  
"So you wanna stay inside? Okay with me... Any rules?" Duo questioned them further.  
  
One of the guys hestitated but spoke after all: "Well... I've got this date tonight, so... how about not going for the face?"  
  
"Fine! Anything else?" was the cheerful replie.  
  
"No kicking in the... you know..." another one added blushing.  
  
"U-hu... I definitely agree on this one with you! That wouldn't be nice, don't you think so too, guys?" Duo looked over his shoulder to his comrades, to see them sitting there staring at him.  
  
It was to much to say, they were freaked out, but it was certainly strange for Duo to be interupted during eating and start a duscussion about where or where not to kick asses, with the very people that did disturb him in the first place.  
  
"And while we're at it," Duo continued towards to four in front of him, "I'd say, that it wouldn't be fair of you to use those weapons... It's four against one anyways and that's enough. So why don't you put those really nice looking knifes in here, while we're fighting?" he asked, holding his cap out.  
  
The boys nodded and put their knifes into his cap. As soon as Duo had all of them, he pulled out his gun and pointed in at his 'opponents'.  
  
"And now get lost before I have to shoot all of you, I want to continue eating!"  
  
They disappeard fast enough to be nominated for some kind of world-record.  
  
Duo sat down again, putting his gun and his newly achieved knifes at the table. "Really... Some people... How stupid can you get, anyway?" He asked no one in particular while munchin away on his pizza happily, leaving to others to continue staring at him.  
  
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End  
  
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And again: Please review, people! I love to get them, I really do! ^_^ 


	3. Random Weirdness: Ten random moments

Well, what can I say? After a very long time I'm back to this story (if you can call it that... ^_^")  
  
I felt kinda bored - a strange mood between wanting to write something and not wanting to think about one of my storylines that manage to confuse even me at times. So I came up with this one...  
  
It's not written in the same style as the two previous chapters but since it's just ten short moments I think this style fits better.  
  
Hope you like this one too!  
  
Oh, yeah! And again, thank you sooo much to everyone who reviewed!!! ^_^  
  
- Banshee  
  
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Random Weirdness - Ten Random Moments  
  
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1. Quatre abandoning his violin for once, trying out the piano  
  
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Quatre: *sitting in front of the piano, trying to play a tune by Beethoven*  
  
Suddenly the door to the room is thrown open and Duo storms in.  
  
Duo: *falls down on his knees in front of Quatre* Don't murder the poor piano! Please!!! *sobs*  
  
- - - - -  
  
2. Duo explaining his fighting strategy  
  
- - - - -  
  
Duo: "If at first you don't succeed - scare the shit out of them."  
  
Random person: "And how do you do that?"  
  
Duo: "If you can't beat them, join them. If you can't join them, bribe them. If you can't bribe them, blackmail them. If you can't blackmail them... Kill them! It's as simple as that."  
  
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3. Quatre and Trowa trying to feed a sick Wufei something 'healthy'  
  
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Wufei: *stares at his so-called breakfast*  
  
Quatre: *shoves the bowl closer to him* "I made a healthy breakfast that I think will do you and your upset stomach a lot of goods."  
  
Trowa: *smirk* *puts a spoon in front of Wufei* "Eat."  
  
Wufei: "That looks like vomit. I'm not eating vomit."  
  
Quatre: "It's oatmeal, Wufei. It's healthy for you."  
  
Wufei: *frowns* *pushes the bowl away with one finger* "I don't eat healthy vomit."  
  
- - - - -  
  
4. In a car  
  
- - - - -  
  
Back of the car:  
  
Duo: *cuddling up to Heero*  
  
Heero: *putting his arm around Duo's waist after a short moment of hesitation*  
  
Wufei: *looking at them with one raised eyebrow, then shrugging and continuing to look out of the window*  
  
Front of the car:  
  
Quatre: *trying to jump into the back seat to glomp the extremely kawaii couple*  
  
Trowa: *restraining Quatre from actually doing so, because it wouldn't be good for their health since Quatre was the one driving*  
  
- - - - -  
  
5. Wufei and Quatre after entering the hangar where the Gundams are  
  
- - - - -  
  
Shenlong: *standing there and looking innocent in a nice shade of neon- pink*  
  
Wufei: "Sweet zombie Jesus on a pogo stick!!!"  
  
Quatre: "And his holy mother Mary on a trampoline!!!"  
  
Both: *giving each other a strange look*  
  
Wufei: "You do realize that you have the wrong religion here, don't you?"  
  
Quatre: "So do you."  
  
Wufei: *shrugs* Anyway, I'm off to kill Maxwell if you need me."  
  
- - - - -  
  
6. After Duo was talking to Heero for hours non-stop  
  
- - - - -  
  
Heero: *slightly annoyed* "As if you talking weren't enough: Why do you have to wave your hands around like that?"  
  
Duo: *enthusiastic that Heero actually talked back for once* I'm a hand- talker. That means I use my hands a lot when I speak."  
  
Heero: "-That- I noticed." *smirking* "If I tied your hands together would you shut up?"  
  
Duo: *grinning* No, but you'd have a hard time understanding me!"  
  
- - - - -  
  
7. Heero looking for his laptop  
  
- - - - -  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "I can't find my laptop."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "I could've sworn it was there just a few hours ago."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "If Quatre 'stored it away' somewhere again..."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "Nah. I bet anything Duo has it."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "..."  
  
Heero: "Could you quit the translations?"  
  
Translator: "You're freaking me out."  
  
Heero: "..."  
  
Translator: "No, really."  
  
Heero: *reaches for his gun*  
  
Translator: o_O *runs*  
  
- - - - -  
  
8. Heero after discovering his laptop in a puddle of coke  
  
- - - - -  
  
Duo: *grabs Quatre and uses him as a shield* "Quatre! He's trying to kill me!"  
  
Heero: *growl* "Move Quatre."  
  
Quatre: *stays where he is and looks at Heero pleadingly* "Heero, what would killing Duo accomplish? There is no point to it."  
  
Heero: *with sparkling eyes* "Yes, there is. It would make me feel better."  
  
- - - - -  
  
9. Everyone minus Heero musing about Heero's way to show friendship  
  
- - - - -  
  
Duo: *in a complaining voice* Why does Heero always threaten to kill me?"  
  
Quatre: "It's not that bad. He only does that to people he likes."  
  
Everyone: *staring at Quatre*  
  
Wufei: *thoughtfully* "Well, he's -always- threatening to kill his friends. And he never does."  
  
Trowa: *nod* "Actually that does make sense."  
  
Duo: "In an odd way."  
  
- - - - -  
  
10. Duo after having too much coffee for breakfast  
  
- - - - -  
  
Duo: *jumping on the kitchen table in front of Heero, striking a pose* "Fear me, for I am Duo Maxwell, rightwise born the true Shinigami! Crusher of pride, both false and true! Destroyer of egos that dare to cross my path! The End of your pitiful existence and the Bringer of Hell! Tremble in my shadow, mere mortal, for thy Doom is at hand and Shinigami knows no mercy! I hold thy very soul in my fist and I shalt crush it like the worthless weakling egg it is! Fear me!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Heero: *raising an eyebrow* "Are you done yet?"  
  
Duo: "No! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And for good measure: HA!!! There. -Now- I'm done."  
  
- - - - -  
  
Heh, yeah, I'm done too. ^_^  
  
Please tell me what you think! (a.k.a. Review, people!) ^_~  
  
Uhm... do I dare saying it? Ah, well, here goes the shameless self- publicity:  
  
If you feel like it, read my other english stories too and leave a review if you do so! Please? *puppy-dog-eyes* ^_^"  
  
Cya!  
  
- Banshee 


End file.
